Chapter Twenty-Five

HERE MARKS THE WINNING CHAPTER. I will probably never write more of this story after this point, though. I hope you have enjoyed the ride! I know I have!

“I’ll tell you the story. There was a beautiful but incredibly lonely woman named Valerie Skins. This is, of course, yours truly. She went to the bar once, hoping to meet someone whom she could learn to love, because her aching heart just couldn’t bear the loneliness for too much longer. She soon grew depressed, and when she went to the bar one day… she felt that all that sadness would simply lift away when she met the amazingly handsome and seemingly sweet Lucas Francium, the man whom she thought would be her lover.
“So she took him to her place, treated him right, and just wanted him to love her. Was that too much to ask? For another person in life? For someone to love, and to be loved by someone? Our beautiful heroine Valerie Skins did not. So she opened herself up to this one seemingly equally perfect man Lucas Francium, only to wake up the next morning to find her bed completely empty, and Lucas Francium gone without any trace.
“The beautiful and perfect Valerie Skins no longer made sadness her main emotion, but turned that sadness into anger. No, not sadness into anger. Her depression into rage. Absolutely angry and burning rage. She wanted revenge, and she wanted it badly. She wanted to cause Lucas Francium the most pain she could possibly cause him.
“But how was that possible? For Valerie Skins, our beautiful and perfect heroine of this story, knew that loneliness was the most painful thing. That getting the perfect revenge on her beloved Luke was not to go straight out and kill him, or torture him, or capture him. No, she would do nothing to kill her beloved. She could not dare to harm her beloved. She could do nothing of the sort, because truthfully, she loved him too bloody much. And she thought that the best revenge would be to kill off or severely hurt the ones he loved, the ones that if they were gone, would cause him the most pain. But he worked alone, and so there was no one of the sort to harm like that.
“And it just so happened that these beautiful creatures here wanted something, too. They wanted complete rule over all the universes, all the dimensions. Their race is superior to the human race—well, most of the human race, anyway—and I agreed. There are just some horrible people out there in the world. And I couldn’t bear to see these poor creatures not get what they deserve—which is to say, the entire enslavement of all other living creatures with moderate intelligence—because they reminded me of me, the beautiful and perfect Valerie Skins, who also did not get what she deserved.
“So our beautiful and perfect heroine, Valerie Skins, thought of a perfect deal to make with these lovely and almost as perfect as her unicorns. She said that she knew the man who took care of it all, who was the Keeper of Dimensions, and that if they helped me get my revenge on him, then they could keep you and do whatever they like with you, and by using you, get total rule over all dimensions. It really is a brilliant plan if you think about it.
“So they gave me their dimension hopping technology, and I promised them I would bring you to their home dimension, which, let’s face it, darling, was not very difficult considering you just had to follow Maurice through that forest and into our garden. You see, I decided to put my plan into action now because I noticed that you had gotten someone you didn’t just want to shag and toss aside like you did with me. You were no longer alone, and you had become vulnerable to the exact type of revenge I wanted to inflict on you.”
“How did you know about her?” Luke asked. “How did you know about Caitlin being with me?”
“My love, I saw her with you with my own eyes.”
“What?”
“In the Desert of Naharah. I was there, you see. I saved her life, I gave you the water.”
“Wait, that was you?” I exclaimed. “Luke!”
“Yes, that was me, you insufferable twit,” she said. “And then I saw you again as my band of unicorns stampeded into the floating city that reached to the skies.”
“So that’s what made the shaking so violent,” Luke thought out loud. “The whole lot of them were dimension hopping.”
“Yes, of course,” she said. “And now that I have my way, and now that I have got you right where I want you, there is no way that I will not get the revenge I have been seeking for oh, so long.”
“Wow, Valerie,” Luke said. “That is quite some story. I’m sorry, but I have to find it a little pathetic that you turned to unicorns to get your revenge on me. Also, I’ve slept with a lot of girls and left them, and none of them are as psychotic as you are to actually be hunting me down after all this time. They’ve all moved on with their lives, probably found someone else, someone better for them. Me? I would have made the worst boyfriend ever. I would have to keep going through dimensions, and I would never be around to do whatever it is boyfriends do. Say ‘I love you’ and hold you and all of that sentimental stuff. Honestly, Valerie, all you need to do is let go, move on, and I’m sure you will find someone else in your life. Someone better. Someone who would have actually taken care of your loneliness, and helped you grow as a person.”
“I am plenty grown as a person!” Valerie said.
“Yes, but there is plenty left in the world for you to learn!” Luke said. “There are so many places and people!”
“I have learned much from these beautiful creatures, Lucas. I am sure you know of their high skill in their combative ways.”
“I am familiar, yes,” Luke said.
“Well, then,” Valerie said. She reached behind the head unicorn, and pulled out a long and silver sword. “Let us reminisce about old times, shall we, love?”